Being Comfortable with Being Awkward

30 day blog challenge - day 5

What?

I'm a self-proclaimed awkward person.

I have always been an awkward person. Maybe it's because I'm naturally a very shy, introverted person, but I often put myself in situations that require me to be extroverted (performing, experiencing new art, trying new things, etc.) If you have ever seen one of my shows, you will know what I mean by my ridiculous stage banter. When I am on stage, basically anything could come out of my mouth. You just don't know. Sometimes I don't even know what the hell I'm saying on stage. 

I'm also awkward because I have balance problems that cause me to do things like fall off of stationary motorcycles and stumble into walls and trip over things. I drop stuff all of the time, I'm clumsy, I often don't know what to do with my hands, I often feel extremely uncomfortable around new people, and sometimes my brain makes turning thoughts into verbally spoken words slightly impossible unless I'm given time to write it down first or I am talking to someone I know extremely well. Whenever I dance, it's weird and asymmetrical. I never know what to do in photographs which is why only the most talented photographers or people who know me really well ever take decent pictures of me and why I'm always making this face:

Prose before hos!

So, yeah. I'm awkward. 

But you know what? A lot of people are awkward. And over the years, I have somehow learned to be comfortable with my awkwardness. 

This may sound like a contradiction, but I don't think that it is. Being comfortable with your awkwardness means being able to laugh at yourself when you say something really dumb. Being comfortable with your awkwardness means being able to turn tripping and almost falling into a dance. Being comfortable with your awkwardness means being true to yourself. 

Because everyone has moments of insecurity and uncertainty and people who are "awkward" aren't afraid to be honest about that. There are some people who always seem so graceful, so confident. These people seem to handle every situation flawlessly, to always say the perfect things, to always look the perfect way. This is an illusion. Many times, these people are overcompensating for their own insecurities. Often, these overly confident people are actually more insecure than people who don't seem as confident. 

I'm happy all of the time!

And it is possible to be awkward and confident at the same time. Look at Ellen. Her entire stand-up routine is basically about being awkward, but she clearly does what she does with confidence, self-love, and love for others. 

I'm Ellen!
(Ellen is sort of my hero.) 

So, to my awkward sisters and brothers, I salute you. And I say embrace your awkwardness. Stand up and fall down and laugh and stand up again and say, "Well, you know."  

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